Starbucks Purple Chair

I wish at this moment I was sitting in one of the purple chairs in the Student Center Starbucks. That I could accidentally brush against its stiff fabric, shuffle off my shoes, and sit with my feet tucked under myself. I would shuffle through the papers in my bag and pull out some dusty book I found in the library, listening to the soft pops its spine makes as I re-open the poor thing since sometime last summer.

I’ve sat in this chair so many times it’s become familiar territory for me. I know that it is large enough for me to curl sideways if I want to, and that if I wait here long enough someone will come over to say, “Good morning”. I always find myself here in the morning. This is probably due to the large window which overlooks the Student Center balcony and just barely allows me to see the top of the pines across the walkway.

If I were to be emotional anywhere, it would be here in this conveniently sized, scratchy purple chair. I’d reflect on the first day I saw snowfall in Nacogdoches and came in breathless and giggling amongst friends as we collapsed on this chair. I’d reflect on sipping Café White Mochas and tucking my hair behind my ear so I could read the last sentence of my handwritten test review. Finally I’d let my memories settle into this so very worn cushion which, although it is only a piece of furniture, has become a close friend.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I sit there often times hoping to be found. Yes, I go here to get away from the small corner where I live and mentor and grow. But in another way I go anticipating being interrupted from reading my book, which I’m only skimming really. It is there more than anywhere that I’d be most likely to spill my guts with you.

Returning

Returning is one of the most comforting feelings in the world. You may have experienced it too in one way or another. It is the feeling of coming home after a year away, or re-discovering the joy of laugh lines on another’s face. You may feel you won’t ever stop smiling though your cheeks are tingling.

I know for me returning will be sitting on a pew in a most beloved church. I’ll experience it again this summer when a dear friend returns to the States after a year away. This past year has been a great one, and it will be good to return.

Things you should do as a Post Grad

1. Frame your diploma

    Your parents will probably want to pay hundreds of dollars to get it framed just the way you want it. And be grateful! Place it somewhere you can see it, or even better, place it where everyone can see it. Sneak it into conversation such as, “Oh wow, that’s so interesting. Did you notice my diploma?” Nothing should keep you from your glory.

2. Clean your room

    That’s right. I ain’t yo mama, but seriously get to it! Throw away all those cheap and out of style Forever 21 clothes, the Hollister shirts hidden in your bottom drawer, and especially those loose papers from your High School classes. It’s time to make your room your own. That picture of you dressed up as a goose in your school’s musical didn’t get your best side anyway.

3. Get a job (duh)

     It’s all about the Benjamins. Now is the time to apply like you have never applied before. Apply to places you’ve never been, apply over the phone, apply in person. Don’t be picky and remember to be patient with yourself. As soon as you have income, you can enjoy that fancy Starbucks drink you like every day and not feel guilty for spending so much money.

4. Rest

    Between applications and phone calls regarding your future, take time to smell the roses (literally). You really do have the time to do whatever you want to. Wake up to the sunlight in your room instead of your alarm clock. Read scripture at a leisurely pace. Paint your nails, and then repaint them. The time is yours baby!

Two Weeks

Is not enough to time share my thoughts

To snuggle into a couch in a yellow home

To process

To fix the light bulb in our living room.

But it holds promise

A spoken promise from the Lord

Of a hope and a delightful future

Of Austin, of ministry, of sipping coffee on wooden slats.

Reminds me that I love people

Allows me to take my time falling asleep

To finish the last few chapters of an enchanting 864 page novel

To share breakfast with my favorite red headed friend

And finally brings me back to Starr Avenue where it really all began

Where I drive with the windows down, my hand out the window palm up,

Proclaiming that “Clocks” by Coldplay means everything to me

Where leaves slip across my window and the wind billows my hair behind my ears.

Cup of Tea

I began this morning boiling over as I thought of this past week and remembered homework assignments I had almost forgotten. As soon as I had time I fled to Java Jacks hoping to find sanctuary. I sank deep into the rim of a plain chair and allowed myself to be filled: filled with stillness in a book, filled with rest. And when I had reached the brim I slowly steeped into the room relaxing my shoulders and watched people around me read maps and laugh as they spoke to each-other. I settled here for a moment, enjoying the warmth, and then picked myself up and out of my thoughts. I placed myself beside my cup, wrapped my fingers around the handle of my mug, and took a drink of chai.

Freedom, but really.

Is a frilly thing

Which dances

And sings

And swims

And laughs as it tickles the insides of me.

Window into the Future

This morning I woke up somewhere between 7:30 and 7:45AM. My eyes opened and closed. I watched as my still and quiet room appeared, then faded, and reappeared until I was fully awake. Somewhere to my right Train told me I had drops of Jupiter in my hair and I was coaxed out of my still warm comforter sheets. I dressed in the clothes I had set out the night before, curled my hair just a bit, and stopped a moment to survey the damage in my double vanity mirror. Before me stood a small and awkward 21 year old girl dressed in khaki pants and a cardigan. My toes wiggled in soft brown flats which weren't even mine and I chuckled as I saw the reflection of myself. 
Today I am older than I ever thought I would be.