Everything is Fall

I feel like I am leaning on the tips of my toes and looking downwards from some high mountain peak. The trees beneath me are my favorite shades of maroon, orange, and pale yellow. They seem to call my name and wave as a warm wind ruffles their leafy appendages. So, here I stand leaning half way over, clutching the shoulder straps of my old purple backpack- recently packed with wisdom Tetris style. I breathe, knowing there is no way but forward, and take a leap of faith.

Gavin DeGraw

Used to be one of my all time favorite music artists. His pop-culture lyrics and upbeat piano solos spoke directly to me all the way until I was a wide eyed, seventeen year old college freshman. Previously, a summer crush had surprised me with a pair of tickets to his concert and, after much anticipation, there he was only five feet and a large crowd away from me. I’ll never forget when he stood on top of his silver glittering piano and sang directly to me in the crowd, or so I imagined. We listened to his cd all the way home and I fell asleep fully content with a low humming in my ears.

Tuesday morning I woke up much older than that small seventeen year old. All of a sudden I am a leader in a church. I am a senior in college. I’ve even become one of those particular customers in coffee shops and order a “tall chai latte, shot of espresso, skim milk only”. After turning around, mutant chai in hand, I scanned the room for a comfortable space to sit, pulled out a Webster dictionary, and began making flash cards for words like “equivocal” and “loquacious”.

The stark difference between 2008 and now became apparent when I returned home and began to walk up the stairs. My sixteen year old sister called me over to where she sat in front of the computer screen. “Caitie,” she squealed, “I just bought Gavin DeGraw’s new song! I love it!”
I couldn’t help but suppress a chuckle.